FIA x TDI x MS
by Sallymeow1
Summary: This is stupid don't read it please


FAI x TDI x MS

SO Jimmy was doing tourism stuff at his tourism office work thingy, and felt like calling up Candy. Don't worry, this fanfic is hardly about them.. Not the first part at least.

"Hi Candy!" Jimmy said cheerily

"WHO THE FUCK IS CANDY?" Cookie shouted back through the phone.

"Sorry sorry Cookie," Jimmy apologized. "I've been too tired to focus on anything besides that damn dog that is always howling at night."

"Yeah, we should really talk to the neighbors about it after work," Cookie suggested.

"What, you can't do it alone?" Jimmy asked.

"I'm not gonna ask about a loud dog in the same yard by myself are you nuts?" Cookie told Jimmy.

"Alright, i'll let you know when I'm off work," Jimmy said, ending the phone call. This segment has A and B plots, this is the A plot. I'm doing this because this is just a more-racist family guy.

~~~ B Plot~~~

"Petey! Why do you have my lipstick in your room?" Theresa shouted at him.

"I-It's for research, I swear!" Petey explained hurriedly.

"Oh okay," Theresa replied. "And you have all those other 6 same types of lipstick because?"

"It's also research Theresa," Petey tried to say. "I'm researching uh, that specific type!"

Theresa sighed, "Whatever, just know i'm locking up the next lipstick I buy and you aint gettin' it!" With that, Theresa slammed her door shut and groaned.

"After all, it's almost done. Just a few more lipstick shades… " Petey closed his door and went over to something that looked like a shrine of a girl with brown eyes, brunette hair, and a gray sweater with a buttoned up shirt underneath. Suddenly, the room around him began to swirl and twist. He figured Theresa must have laced her lipstick with PCP or something. Shocked by the intensity, he fainted.

~~~ A plot~~~

"Okay work's over time to go knock sense into our neighbors!" Jimmy said walking with Cookie.

"Good. I'm tired of being called Candy, Brownie, and Sugar all the time." Cookie remarked, "and i'm tired of being tired too!" they looked around, and the dog fortunately wasn't to be seen in the yard. With that out of the way, Jimmy pounded on the door.

"Open up you son of a bitch!" JImmy yelled. Jimmy asked and he received. A pixelated 3D dog who looked like Scooby doo opened the door.

"Who the fuck?" he said, "OH SHIT IT'S YOU!"

"What the hell is that? I'm not tripping balls am I?" Uncle Cheech was walking by as he saw this talking dog.

"Uhh, this was unexpected." Jimmy wasn't sure what to do, "do I fight him now or… what?"

"Fight? Are you kidding Jimmy?" Cookie grabbed Jimmy's shoulders, "you see a talking dog that looks out of this world and you plan to FIGHT it?"

"Jimmy you're so thicc i wanna fuck your ass," the dog said watching this chaos. Cookie slowly let go of Jimmy's shoulders, turning to look at the dog.

"Actually, have a blast,"

When Petey came to, he saw the same girl on the shrine standing over him. It was Courtney, and she was more than confused.

"Where..am I?" Courtney said bewildered, "this isn't law school."

"Courtney!" Petey hugged her instinctively, "I finally got to meet you!"

"Oookay," Courtney smiled awkwardly. "Can you let go now?" She said, pushing him off.

"Oof, rejected again Petey." Gina laughed at him through the vents.

"Not funny, Gina!" Petey shouted. Courtney opened Petey's door and looked around. Petey got a great view of dat ass, and was satisfied. Right as he was about to reverse the ritual, she bumped into Theresa.

"No! She can't see any other humans in this world besides the host!" He panicked, "what am I gonna do?"

"Uh, she saw me you know!" Gina said through the vents.

"You're human?" Petey was shocked.

"More human than you, toots."

"Oh my god, I love your clothes!" Theresa admired Courtney's fashion sense.

"Aw thank you! Your hair looks amazing you know?" Courtney smiled.

"Well I do know, but most girls don't say that and try to stick gum in it instead," Theresa laughed.

"Yeah, there's some real bitches in this world…" Courtney looked down, seeming frustrated. Theresa took notice of this quickly.

"Hey I know!" Theresa suggested, "wanna go shittalk all of the bitches we know in my room?"

"Yes! That sounds perfect!" Courtney delightedly went with Theresa.

"Can I come-"

"Girls talk Petey, and you're not one yet!" Theresa called before closing the door.

"Dammit," Petey sighed. He did all this work to summon her and all he got was a hug that he did, and a stare at her ass. He sat down on the floor and stared at the ceiling.

"Uh… guys talk?" Gina said through the vent to Petey.

"YOU WANT SOME MORE?" Jimmy shouted even though they've both just been flailing their arms at eachother.

"No u- WHO THE FUCK IS SCREAMING IN VOICE CHAT?" the dog yelled from beyond the fourth wall, "I'M FUSE BITCHES!"

"What in good Mother Canada's name is going on here?" McCool teleported to the scene with his magic horse that is totally not utilizing magic mushrooms to enhance performance. "Stop fighting at once!" Fuse and Jimmy suddenly stopped flailing at each other. "Now, I have a simple solution for this Fuse. Just stay still!" Suddenly, a tentacle bursted out of his pants.

"So that's what that big thing in his pants was all this time…" Jimmy made a realization.

"Oh HELL NO," Fuse got a rocket launcher and rocket jumped the fuck outta there.

"What's up with him? I was going to give him this octopus arm to enjoy so he could calm down!" McCool was confused.

"He likely thought something else," Jimmy said.

"Oh, okay… " McCool got on his horse, "for Canada! Where everything is taken the wrong way!" the horse flew to the moon goodbye.

"Hey I'm here," Homer said. "Give me all your-" Suddenly Uncle Cheech beat Homer to death with a baseball bat.

"Wow… that was…" Courtney was laying in bed next to Theresa. Thoroughly pleasured by what they did in the creaky bed frame.

"Yeah, I think I'm done with guys for now," Theresa said, staring at the ceiling. Stumbled by the action that happened, they put on each other's clothes by accident. Courtney opened the door, feeling a bit drafty but assumed it was natural. However, Theresa felt professional for some reason and was happy for the change. As they walked out, Petey saw these two and burst into tears, already aware of what they did. He ran downstairs and sobbed on the couch.

"Hey kids I'm home- WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED PETEY?" Cookie came home to see Petey face down on the couch sobbing loudly.

"ASK THAT BITCH THERESA," Petey shouted. Cookie stormed upstairs and saw Courtney and Theresa.

"Okay, why is your brother so upset?" Cookie asked.

"Probably cause he can't get a girlfriend, so the usual as always!" Theresa replied.

"Go fuck yourself!" Petey shouted from downstairs.

"For your information Petey," Theresa explained smugly. "I already did- I MEAN."

"Theresa Falcone Macdougall, are you telling me you MASTURBATED?"

"No! Nothing like that!"

"Oh ok"

Sand Undertale went over to Petey and ate him, farted a rainbow, and flew away.

"Well, this was the weirdest fucking day ever," Gina said sitting in a chair.

"You said it G-" Suddenly Jimmy got kicked in the face by Fuse.

"Get wrecked," Fuse ran away with Uncle Jones.

Danky was standing next to Sally, "What the fuck did you just make…"

"Magic Danky, Magic." Sally replied, "absolute unit magic."

"I'm here too!" Keegan said. Sand undertale ate Keegan.

"Wow," Cake said.

"I'm so confused," Courtney said looking around.


End file.
